Festival of Brexit Britain: some attractions

The Prime Minister has announced that there is to be a Festival of Brexit Britain in 2022, to showcase our country’s optimistic future outside the EU.  Inspired by the 1951 Festival of Britain, it will feature exhibits demonstrating the best of British culture and innovation. Imagine what it might look like ….

 

Enter through the Gate-au-way to Brexit Britain – a Perspex arch filled with finest British fruitcake makes a portal to the festive world.  You will be able to take part in a national ‘guess the weight’ competition – can you correctly estimate how much cake is in the complete arch, and the weight when every visitor has had a slice? (Imperial measures only).

 

Making a rare appearance will be the fantastic Pushmi-pullEU.  Naturally the Festival of Brexit Britain harks back to the original creature from the Dr Doolittle book, before the Sixties film made a star of a two-headed lamma. The heritage Pushmi-PullEU is half-gazelle, half unicorn, and feeds on an iconic British cherry tree, specially planted for the Festival:

 

The Festival of Britain had Skylon, and for the Festival of Brexit Britain there’s a new interactive experience, Skycon.  Guests can press a button on the Random Vision Generator and see keywords from the Referendum campaigns written in the sky above the festival:

 

And be sure not to miss the exciting art installation commissioned specially for the festival.  The Wicked Man is a sculptural megastructure forming the surround for the festival bonfire.  Just buy your own straw man from the Debate Tent and add to the conflagration which will illuminate the site for night-time festival goers:

ENJOY!

Chuck out that Chequers – or Boris has a Plan (with apologies to IKEA)

Chuck out that Chequers

Come on, do it today

Prise off that caution, and throw it away

The negotiators are girly,

Too supine, not surly

That common rule book

Just does us no credit

We’re battling hard and we’ve come a long way,

Even No Deal would be kind of okay,

EU harmonisation

Is harming our nation

So chuck out that Chequers today.

 

Our land could be playful, and happy and light,

Rules loose and informal and stripey and bright,

Let’s use our resources

Let’s muster our forces

To fight Chequers oppression

With bold self-expression

We’re battling hard and we’ve come a long way,

Even No Deal would be kind of okay,

So don’t let PM May

Have everything her way,

Chuck out that Chequers, yes chuck out that Chequers,

Let’s chuck out that Chequers today!